Standard Human Apogees

#yosemite #glacierpoint #nature #nationalparks

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:31:01 -0700

#yosemite #glacierpoint #nature #nationalparks

#sanfrancisco #chinatown

Sun, 12 May 2013 08:47:47 -0700

#sanfrancisco #chinatown

crookedindifference: Nikola Tesla’s laboratory in Colorado...

Tue, 07 May 2013 00:47:53 -0700

crookedindifference:

Nikola Tesla’s laboratory in Colorado Springs circa 1900

shit's getting REAL

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:20:25 -0700

Two more class sessions to teach.
One final essay for Wild. Am. Lit
M.F.A. Exit Exam this weekend
Thesis Reading next weekend
Graduation Ceremony following weekend

Picking up Ma and Grandma in SF on Wednesday.

End of May:
MOVE TO LOS ANGELES FOREVER (okay, not forever, but until
further notice).

I’ve discovered journal entries from both my high school and college days that state outright my desire to live in Los Angeles. Back then, L.A. was, to me, a place where all your dreams come true. Today: I stick by those convictions.

Photo

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:14:33 -0700

Favorite shoes

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:10:38 -0700

Favorite shoes

The Killers covering “I Think We’re Alone Now”...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:13:52 -0700

The Killers covering “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tommy James and the Shondelles in San Francisco - Bill Graham Civic Auditorium - April 28.

Why Do Gay Guys Hate Other Gay Guys | Advocate.com

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 17:32:34 -0700

Why Do Gay Guys Hate Other Gay Guys | Advocate.com

Brandon Flowers of The Killers

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:18:00 -0700

Brandon Flowers of The Killers

"Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his..."

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:57:57 -0700

“Because no battle is ever won he said. They
are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own
folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers
and fools.”

- William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury, p.76

I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:44:48 -0700

I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not giving a shit. There is no in between, and it’s so exhausting and frustrating.

’90s Fashion. Tank Dress. Footless Tights. Jean Jacket....

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:56:09 -0700

’90s Fashion. Tank Dress. Footless Tights. Jean Jacket. Studded Boots.

Many ’90s photoshoots in the future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj-_addP19M New Order -...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:27:00 -0700

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj-_addP19M

New Order - “Crystal”

Released in 2001. The Killers took their name from the pseudo-band’s bass drum. In 2005, New Order performed “Crystal” with Brandon Flowers at Scotland’s T in the Park 2005.

California and I are in it for the long haul.

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:25:00 -0700

California and I are in it for the long haul.

"You write to find out what you believe."

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:20:13 -0700

““You write to find out what you believe.””

- Adam Phillips, from last night’s live Writers at Work interview at Live from the NYPL. (via theparisreview)

"Everybody speaks an entirely different language, that’s really what it amounts to."

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:17:44 -0700

““Everybody speaks an entirely different language, that’s really what it amounts to.””

- Frank O’Connor (via theparisreview)

Photo

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:48:23 -0700

Photo

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:48:00 -0700

On Sexuality

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:02:57 -0700

Last night during the Wilderness in America Lit seminar, we were discussing Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” and mulling over the reasons why she did it, why she would hike the trail alone and whether or not it was inspired by the messes she wanted out of, when I couldn’t stop thinking about the sexuality component she weaves through her narrative. I remember my own stint as a sexual pilgrim—bedding boys in college, casually, in order to find something that clicked, that told me I had finally figured it out. None of this worked, however, because no matter how hard I tried, I always woke up feeling like a ragged Playboy magazine shoved under the mattress.

I began to write about it. In the middle of class, my hand furiously scribbling in a recycled composition notebook the origin of my discovery that I, in fact, was interested in women. I could only get so far before I felt like my pen scratches created a distraction to those around me. What I did discover was that I acted out of the need to sit with my girlfriends on Sunday and extol grand stories of fucking boys in their crusty dorm rooms and loving every minute of it. Part of me wonders if they really loved it as much as they said they did. All of me knows that I didn’t love it. That I only loved being wanted.

That wasn’t the end, though. Even in my quest to be more open about my desire for women, I couldn’t figure out why I wanted out of the relationships shortly after engaging in them. Again, I was cramming myself into boxes I couldn’t fit into. How was everyone so sure of who and how they wanted? If I called myself a lesbian, did that mean I had to cut my hair, buy some flannels, and learn how to pick up women? Did that mean I had to stop myself from finding things about men attractive? Did that mean I had to sleep with a certain amount of women to be considered a lesbian? I was still consciously trying to shape myself into someone I wasn’t. To live up to some kind of rules that I invented based on what I had observed in the lesbian community. It was maddening.

I wanted to sit on my couch with my best friend and roommate eating pasta, chain-smoking, and watching Absolutely Fabulous every night. I had grown tired of sex. Thinking about it. Trying for it. It didn’t have anything to do with girls or boys and who was more appealing. It had to do with forcing something to come easy. If you aren’t having sex, who are you? If I had to define myself by who I was sleeping with, what would happen if I wasn’t sleeping with anyone?

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Strayed’s attempt to shift her sexuality is what prompted this whole discussion. She recognized that she wanted to change her sexual behavior. I wish she would have analyzed that more and explored how she went about stubbing out those urges. My problem right now is that I rarely meet anyone I’m romantically attracted to. This could be a Fresno condition. Could be a endless chain of schoolwork for the past three years, condition. Could be that I’m standing too far away.

theparisreview: It was not until Charles Henri Ford’s View came...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 23:19:11 -0700

theparisreview:

It was not until Charles Henri Ford’s View came along that America had its own avant-garde literary and art magazine. —Paul Bowles

View magazine was edited by a surrealist poet from Mississippi. Bowles, along with such writers and artists as Marcel Duchamp, Aaron Copland, and Wallace Stevens, filled its pages. While only lasting for seven years, Ford’s “little magazine” paved the way for Surrealism in America.

You can read more about the magazine here and here.